To gentler days ahead

discussing the pressure of resolutions, sharing my "ins" and "outs" for 2024, and a vision board practice

Right now, resolutions are written in bubbled bullet points on people’s notes apps or scribbled down on Post-it notes placed proudly on their fridges. Naturally, as we usher in a new trip around the sun, we tend to be more hopeful and optimistic that as the calendar changes, we can change, too. Resolutions become internal oaths we make to ourselves, vowing to become someone or something we aren’t just yet. 

As we enter into 2024, there’s an inherent pressure to do more, be better, and ‘glow up’ in ways you didn’t do the year before. Intentional or not, there’s a subtle message attached– you’re not good enough. For some, this stings; for others, it motivates. As the sensitive Cancer sign I am, I fall into the former category. 

In reality, we are enough with or without those resolutions. We can be enough as we are and still want to partake in the cliche New Year’s resolutions– move more, eat healthier, and cut down on alcohol. This year, I find myself drowning out the typical resolutions and, instead, turning inward to get a sense of what I want in the three-hundred-sixty-some days ahead. 

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In some ways, I’m a junkie for self-growth. I do mindfulness practices daily, eat my greens, check in with my emotions, read science-backed self-help books, listen to wellness podcasts, go to therapy, and always strive to “do the work” to be a better human for myself and my loved ones. I choose growth despite how uncomfortable and challenging it may be. In this process, I’ve learned that growth requires a tenderness I’m not naturally accustomed to. There’s no perfect science to become who we are meant to be. Just as a plant needs the right ratio of sunlight, water, and minerals, we do too. We can’t push through with only a little sunlight, a lot of water, and a sprinkle of minerals and expect ourselves to thrive. Finding a balance takes time and trust in ourselves to know our own needs. 

So, instead of a long list of changes I want to make, I’m embracing gentler days ahead. Days where I can dial down the critical thoughts in my head and tap into my “highest self”– the one that wants the best for me, no matter what. I’m vowing to take the time to tune into my needs and nourish myself so I grow into a version of myself I’m excited to become. I am learning to be okay with who I am right now and kindly reminding myself of how I can be kinder, calmer, and more loving. 

As a writer, I can’t help but jot down the ways in which I want to be gentler this year. If you’ve been online lately, you’ve likely seen the latest take on resolutions and goals in the form of “ins” and “outs.” It’s a fun, fresh take on what we all can embrace and let go of in the next year. Some of the lists have included punchy and controversial takes, like Trader Joe’s frozen foods and podcasts being out and ‘mastering the art of email’ being in. While others have gotten straight to the point with traditional goals, like cutting out toxic people and getting to the gym a few times a week. I think mine falls into the middle realm, balancing the quantitative and qualitative goals I’m gently leaning into this year.

Ins: 

• Being kinder to myself & others

• Investing in clothes that I feel good in

• Daily nervous system boosts (breathwork, mindfulness, humming, etc.)

• Celebrating big & small milestones

• Reading fiction before bed

• Writing 3x week (long-term goal: a complete & updated memoir manuscript)

• Morning sunlight & walks

• Homecooked meals 

• Travel and trips (near and far)

Outs: 

• Scrolling TikTok before bed 

• Worrying about what others think about me 

• Diet culture talk

• Complaining for the sake of complaining

• Feeling obligated to “show up”

• Buying clothes I don’t like

• Ordering on Amazon more than 1x week 

• Feeling guilting about getting rest 

A Vision Board Practice for Gentler Days Ahead

With my “ins” and “outs” list handy, I spent an hour or so on Monday night creating a digitalized vision board on Canva. Vision boards are a collage of sorts made up of magazine and newspaper clippings to help you envision and affirm desires for the year ahead. 

Honestly, I’ve always avoided making vision boards for years, with the pressure of not completing those tasks looming over me before I could declare them. Assuming I would fail prevented me from acknowledging the possibility I wouldn’t. With the help of a personal pep talk, I convinced myself to be gentle and imperfect and map the vision I want for the next 365 days ahead. 

Unlike my usual antics, I let this vision unfold quite naturally. I plugged in words and quotes that felt right in the moment and paired them with vibrant and grounding images. After a few adjustments, the final product was complete.

First, consider what words and phrases align with you right now. Write or type them out. Read and re-read them. Do they spark a sense of joy, or is there a weight to them? Notice how you feel as you read them and determine if they’re a good fit.  

I found that these words and phrases resonated with me most: 

• Be gentle 

• Radiance 

• Love boldly

• Capture calm within

• Love yourself

• Mindful vs Mind-full 

And one quote:
“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a love in the heart.” - Khalil Gibran

Next, create the vision. You can do this digitally online or go old-school and dig up some magazines and a poster board. Whichever you choose, consider what images and icons are sticking out to you. Do they align with your keywords and phrases? Do they map onto your list of “ins” and “outs”?

With the help of Canva’s features and Google image search, I pieced together a dozen or so images that spoke to my inner “highest self” and soon enough, my 2024 vision board was born. 

Finally, find a place for your vision board. I’m going to print out a copy for my fridge and will add it to my phone background, too. Finding a place where you’ll look at the vision board often will remind you of your goals and aspirations. 

I would love to hear how you’re embracing the New Year so far. Whatever your intentions or resolutions for the year ahead may include, I hope you, too, can embrace gentler days ahead. What are your “ins” and “outs”? What needs are you tending to?

xo
Nicole