Hinging on Hope
Sorting through recent worries and uncertainty with an ample dose of hope. Plus, another curated list of a few things I've been loving lately.
At least once a day, I catch myself holding my breath. I’ll be sitting in front of my laptop or caught up in thought, and I realize that the shallow inhale I took ten seconds prior wasn’t followed by an exhale. To make up for lost time, I quickly sigh, releasing the air trapped in my chest. Whenever I catch myself in this pattern, I reset. I bring my awareness back to the air flowing up into my nostrils, down my throat, expanding in my chest and diaphragm. I hold my breath there for a moment—any longer, and I begin to panic. Then I let out a forceful exhale, letting my heart rate slow down and sending a signal to my nervous system that everything is okay.
It takes effort and mindfulness, but I know it works. I teach this kind of diaphragmatic breathing to clients all day in my coaching work, reminding them of these simple steps we innately know how to do yet often forget in the busyness of life. We can always come back to our breath.
Lately, my breath-holding has been brought on by election-related stress, future plans, and looming uncertainties in countless nooks and crannies of my life. Worries sneak into mundane tasks. As I unload the dishwasher, my thoughts interrupt any moment of mindless contentment: Did you respond to that email? After responding to it, I glance at my phone and see a red notification bubble next to the phone icon: You must call back that doctor’s office ASAP! As I prep my lunch, I turn on a podcast. I insist it will keep me informed, but I keep thinking, Wait, what did they just say? Is the election really THIS close?
The thoughts feel urgent and unending. Naturally, I want to problem-solve, so I consult ChatGPT to troubleshoot my worries instead of sitting with them. But AI can’t solve these existential issues; I must live my human life to watch them all play out. My worries are valid—they’re rooted in a deep desire to be prepared and in control. Yet the hypervigilance around these worries is what tips my nervous system into stress. What it really needs is a gentle reminder that these worries aren’t actual danger. So, I tune into my breath once again.
I was probably holding my breath as I scrolled Instagram this week when I came across a fitting post from an illustrator, There’s Good In Store, whose work is full of bright, bold, beautiful messages for her followers.
“Your worries are valid. Let your hope be too” – Sophia Joan Short
Her words reminded me that beneath worry lies hope. These two qualities can coexist and are of equal importance, like two sides of a coin. Worrying is an act of care. Hope also requires a lot of care. Hope lifts us over stormy seas, while worries can get stuck in our sails. Both are necessary for navigating uncharted waters.
As we ease into November, I’m reframing my worries (as valid as they are) and finding the (equally valid) hope. When existential dread arises about the future, I’ll lean into the many positive possibilities of what might be to come and all the ways I’m setting up that path. In the days before the election, I’ll anchor into glimmers of hope, like those I felt while voting early this week. I’m grateful for the poll workers who cheered for first-time voters, holding onto hope that most of our country will vote for a woman who leads with compassion, protects women’s rights, and is dedicated to uniting rather than dividing.
And I’ll do all this while remembering to breathe.
Loving Lately
a curated list of how I’ve been spending my time and what I’ve been loving lately.
Writing – Postcards to Voters
In an effort to quell my worry and harness more hope, I volunteered with Activate America, writing just over fifty postcards to voters in Arizona and Philly reminding them to vote.
If you’re interested in getting involved in these final days, check out VoteSaveAmerica.com for volunteer opportunities like phone banking from home or canvassing in your area.
Watching – Shrinking on Apple TV
I renewed my Apple TV subscription just for this show, so you know it’s good! Season 2 just started, and it continues last season’s storyline, following a therapist who lost his wife in a drunk-driving accident, his teenage daughter, and his therapist colleagues and neighbors. It’s funny, relatable, and a relatively easy watch to wind down with. The subtle jokes and situations have me laughing out loud. My only complaint is waiting another week for each new episode.
Listening – Maggie Rogers at Madison Square Garden
A few weeks ago, my friend Olivia and I scored Row 1, 100-level seats to Maggie Rogers for $125 (with fees!). I’ve loved her music for years, and seeing her illuminate the stage with her joy was incredible. If you’re not familiar with her, some of her hit songs include Light On (below!), Love You For A Long Time, Dog Years, and Alaska. While she was a student at NYU, Pharrell heard Alaska and gave her feedback—there’s a wholesome video capturing it.
Making – Date Bark No-Bake Dessert
Date Bark inspired by Broma Bakery. When I saw this creator’s three-ingredient, no-bake dessert, I had to try it. She recommends rolling out the date layer with a rolling pin, creating a thin base with equal layers of dates, nut butter, and chocolate. I’ve made it twice now, using homemade cashew butter and dark chocolate, topped with a sprinkle of sea salt. It’s the perfect mid-day sweet treat that’s good and good for you!
Embracing – Nature Walks
Nature walks with my pup. I may not be outdoorsy, but I love a nice walk in nature while still hearing the sounds of a nearby road. Last year, I found a new-to-me nature preserve with a few trails that offer stunning fall foliage. These walks remind me of childhood, exploring the woods near one of George Washington’s campgrounds that was on the street I grew up on. Feeling the crunch of red-orange leaves underfoot and the crisp air in my lungs brings me back to the present moment, even on the most worry-filled days.
Thank you for reading. Remember to hold onto hope!
xoxo
Nicole